Day 17 No Striving Challenge – Common Motivations of Striving
Just as money and time can be our external motivators that keep us striving, we also have internal motivators that keep us striving. These ones are a little more sneaky because they aren’t as overt. We need to look below the surface to see what is driving us.
Rest assured there is always a pay-off for the actions and choices we make. When we come to understand why we choose to do the things we do, we are then is a position to change them.
Here are some common motivations:
- Security & Safety – We have a strong desire for certainty. When we feel certain, it gives us a sense of stability which makes us feel secure and safe. Because of this we feel that we need to control our outer circumstances, and this keeps us in striving mode.
- Belonging & Validation – Somewhere along the way many of us have lost our sense of self. Because of this we began to look outside ourselves to validate our value and worth. This has kept us striving for the attention of others, as well as doing what we need to do in order to feel a sense of belonging.
- Love & Approval – We all have an innate desire to be loved. When we have felt that that love came with conditions, we became approval seekers. When we were being “good” we received the message we were loved, but if we were “bad” we received the message something was wrong with us. These messages were usually very subtle, however this has led us to live in fear of disapproval and thus get caught striving to meet everyone expectations.
Soul Team Chat
- What internal motivations have kept you striving?