Do You React or Respond to Your Children?
How you respond to your children, as well as your life, is dependent on the time, space, and pace you give yourself so that you can come from a place of peace and calm. This means allowing yourself moments of silence to listen to your inner guidance.
…So, in this busy world, how do you do that?
This idea has evolved for me. As I continue to grow and evolve, the ideas and beliefs that I have also continue to shift. What that means is that from time to time I need to re-evaluate some of the things I so heartedly believed in and see if they require some tweaking.
I think this is an important process for everyone to do for themselves, because as we continue on our path it’s inevitable that things change – we learn more, we experience more….and hopefully we trust in life more.
So I’ve spent some time really thinking about what being silent, or in other words meditation, means to me….and how I can ensure my children receive the benefits of it.
I’ve always believed that meditation is important (don’t let the word scare you!…it’s really so much simpler then we have sometimes have been led to believe). I have found in my own life that when I take the time to slow down, breathe, and focus my thoughts on a daily basis, it really helps me be centered and grounded, so that I can respond to situations instead of react to them…especially with my children.
…Just ask my children! They’re the first to let me know if I begin to over react. My son so wisely points out, “Mom, I think you need to mediate.” The beauty of that is not only does it quickly give me the gentle wake-up call I need, BUT it also shows that my children are aware of the value of meditating.
So, before I go further, I’m going to let you know what I mean when I refer to the word meditation. I DO NOT mean needing to sit for hours, in a certain position, clearing your mind completely of all thought, and breathing a certain way.
What I mean is allowing yourself, and your children, the space and pace to slow down enough to be able to listen to your inner guidance. To make a connection with the silence that allows guidance to flow and creates a state of mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual peace and calm.
In the past, I really felt that it was important to have a “sitting” meditation, meaning one where you find a space, give yourself a specified amount of time, and have a routine or ritual to your meditation – grounding, clearing, breathing, and connecting. And although I still absolutely believe this is very beneficial, and highly encourage it, it is certainly not the only way.
I also believed (and still do) that “active” meditation (meaning actively doing something such as running, walking, or washing dishes while being conscious of connecting to your breath) is great, however I felt that it was best done in addition to a “sitting” meditation.
My reason for this was that we have become a society that is always on the go, and therefore felt that it is a good idea to train ourselves to be able to sit without the need to always feel productive. And although that reason still holds true, I have let go of HOW I thought meditation “should” look. In a nutshell, I’ve let go of the rules and structures that I once bought into. I now believe we need to tailor it to best suit our own lifestyle, and find what best works for us to connect.
As much as I enjoy my mediation practice, there are times where it just doesn’t happen. Instead of being hard on myself for the inconsistency (which I used to be!), I began to pay attention to additional ways that I can feel connected, receive guidance, and create a state of peace and calm. What I found is that I can I feel most connected and get some of my best guidance when walking in nature, blowing drying my hair, or simply showering…all places where I just let my mind be.
Our meditation can be taking a pause, tuning in, and connecting when at a red light, in line at the grocery store, caught in traffic, or any of the numerous moments where we are found “waiting.” Turn the waiting into a meditation, and the purpose of the wait takes a different course. We can let go of the frustration and impatience, and embrace the space and pace.
Even though there may be activity going on around us, when we tune in and connect through this simple form of meditation we are able to find the silence within and listen to the guidance it gives. Try it! Practice it! You WILL begin to feel the peace and calm these simple moments bring, and it is then so much easier to respond versus react to our children!
….and here’s a sneak peek at what’s coming up! Stay tuned for the amazing collaborative FREE ebook!
The Soulful Parent: How to Stop Parenting from Ego (fear & control) & Start Parenting with SOUL (love & acceptance)