Striving is #1 Cause to Struggle, Overwhelm & Frustration

Striving is #1 Cause to Struggle, Overwhelm & Frustration

strivingI woke up on New Years day, and feeling a little lazy, I didn’t want to get out of bed right away. So, as I lay there, I grabbed my phone and decided to check my emails. As they were downloading, I saw the many subject lines scrolling down the screen….and I was triggered!

I was overwhelmed with a feeling I can only describe as “Ugh.” I don’t know why I was surprised by the influx of emails all peppy and encouraging me to live my best life in 2014…but something was set off in me. No denying it.

I had a strong visceral reaction to having my inbox flooded with very well-intentioned emails all willing to help me change, fix, and improve my life.

Knowing that when we get triggered it’s never about the other person or people; it’s always about us, I knew there was a message in this for me. So, I decided to just take some time and feel into what it was.

I knew that I wouldn’t be able to write a genuine blog post or send a sincere video without knowing what was at the core of this resistance to jump on the “New Years Bandwagon.”

Instead I just allowed myself to sift through these feelings. Not in a frantic, searching, need to know right now kinda urgency, but in a “just be with it” kinda way.

I didn’t know how long it would take, and if I’m being totally honest, that was/is a little scary. The whole idea of – I don’t want to be left behind rose to the surface. I allowed it to be anyway. And then it came to me. The influx of emails triggered what appeared to me to be STRIVING.

Now, to be clear, I say “what appeared to me” because for those people sending the emails, that may not have been the case for them. And in knowing some of them personally, I don’t think it was the case for all of them. BUT for me it symbolized striving…and I no longer want to be caught in the cycle of striving!

Striving keeps us in a state of always reaching for more and more, and never pausing enough to be in the moment; to be content and happy with where we are, and who we are. This doesn’t mean that we don’t continue to grow into better versions of ourselves, but when we let go of the need to change, fix and improve, we allow this to happen naturally.

I gotta tell you, I’ve been (and still can be) this person. Not being satisfied with who I was and what I was doing. There always felt there was more to do, and I’d keep myself searching and reaching. In all honesty, this hasn’t been entirely a bad thing, since I’ve created amazing shifts within my life, BUT I’ve come to learn that it can happen in a lot easier way.

I admit, I can’t say I’ve made the complete leap into full trust and knowing all is well and that I don’t have to strive for it. BUT I’ve had more than enough glimpses and experiences that I do know it’s true…and I’ve come a hellva long way! And that New Year’s morning I was getting the nudge to take the leap. NO MORE STRIVING.

Striving takes many forms. We seem to be on a perpetual quest to change, fix, and improve all aspects of our lives.

These are just some of the ways it may look…


  • Encouraging kids to aim for the honor roll
  • Urging kids to work hard to be on a certain team
  • Training kids to behave a certain way


  • Trying to make more money
  • Trying to climb the ladder to higher position, power & prestige


  • Trying to lose/gain weight
  • Hoping to avoid illness


  • Trying to find the right one & fall in love
  • Worried what others are thinking and saying


  • Not able to sit & relax because feel the need to clean, tidy and maintain
  • Desire to move up into “bigger and better”

On the surface, it may not appear to be striving. It just appears to be LIFE. But when we look a little deeper at our motivations, a picture begins to emerge that shows that we are on a never ending pursuit to change, fix, and improve our lives…and it keeps us from enjoying the life we already have; it keeps us from enjoying the journey; it keeps us disconnected from our intuition, and knowing who we truly are.

If we don’t stop this endless drive to strive, our children will also be caught in the ongoing and relentless struggle to be more, do more, and have more. We are in the position now, where we can shift this misguided way of living.

Wanna join me?!

No Striving Challenge

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