Radical Self Love as a Spiritual Practice
I believe there has been a long time misunderstanding and confusion about what self love means. I consider radical self love to mean caring for yourself, honoring your well being, taking responsibility for yourself and your life, respecting your body, meeting yourself with compassion and kindness, making empowered choices, being a conscious participant in creating your reality. Self love certainly is not about being an egomaniac, self centered, or arrogant.
We have unconsciously been taught that to love ourselves is to be vain, selfish and conceited. We learned to feel ashamed about liking ourselves – never mind speak to anyone out loud about our goodness.
Radical self love is a way to shift these beliefs and unconscious thought patterns. These buried beliefs we picked up and made meaning about ourselves are not serving our greatest potential. These patterns and beliefs hold us back from living out our fullest expression in this life.
Our life experience is a manifestation of the vibration we carry within us. This is why I suggest Radical Self Love as a Spiritual Practice. The relationship we have with ourselves is what is expressed from within and mirrored back to us.
We teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. We see the reflection back from our experiences with others and in life. We have the ability to shift what we experience by loving ourselves more.
My reality is a reflection of who I believe I am.
Before I began teaching and coaching radical self love, I was on the phone crying to a friend about how poorly someone important to me had treated me. Thank goodness this friend didn’t feed into my story of being a victim and told me the truth – “You have to love yourself first”, she said. I gasped ” C’Mon! Of course I love myself!”
After some honest, inner exploration, I discovered I had no idea what ‘to love myself first’ really meant. In fact, what was happening around me and in my relationships reflected how I was treating myself. Gasp!
When I started to practice radical self love, my entire life experience shifted to more positive interactions and outcomes. I felt more confident, self assured, I trusted myself. Who and what I attracted into my life felt better and I was more in the flow.
Unfortunately, not many of us know how to truly love ourselves. This is a key piece preventing us from manifesting our dreams and creating the lives we desire.
We must be easy on ourselves through this inner exploration. The relationship we have with ourselves was developed from what we learned by example from the generations before us and their self love – or lack of. We also made meaning about ourselves from how they treated us.
Many of us have been through some challenges and traumas in our past where we’ve unconsciously decided those experiences meant “I don’t matter”, “I’m not important enough”, “I’m not worth it” or something along those lines.
Then what happens is we carry that with us and our life reflects back to us these meanings throughout our relationships and experiences.
Radical self love wipes out those stories and old programs.
Radical self love reframes the beliefs about who you think you are. Allow me to remind you who you are… You are an amazing being that the universe thought was a great idea and brought you here at this particular time because you play a unique, exceptional part in the vastness of the entire experience of this world.
Yes. It is true. So, to think that you are not worthy, not valued, or don’t matter is ri-dic-u-lous! Lets just start there.
In order to change what was happening in my life I brought conscious attention to what I was focusing on and putting my energy towards. I started to realize how the negative, Debbie Downer thoughts I was expressing matched my experiences!
I put more attention toward what I wanted to feel and experience than what was actually happening.
- I changed the way I spoke to myself – I wrote affirmations and mantras on sticky notes all over my home. Soon attracting a partner who said the exact words to me.
- I loved up my body – healthier choices became more natural. With the heavy, negative thoughts gone, physical weight released too.
- I practiced giving more to myself and built the muscle of feeling safe to allow and receive – more good came my way for me to receive from others and life.
- I said “no” to others and said “yes” to myself – giving myself what I needed first because we are all better for the world when our own cup is full first.
- I nourished my soul through allowing my feelings to flow and not hold them back any longer – I swear it is the best anti-aging secret!
- I bravely stood up for myself – I showed the inner parts of me that life is safe now, I am in charge and I’ve got my back.
- I created a life I love by letting go of others expectations – creating a business that shows others how they can do the same.
- I let go of resenting others – seeing how holding on held me in the vibration of being wronged or victimized (dead weight for my energy field).
- I practiced and became skilled at self trust by making choices my heart guided me to – finding myself in the flow of life and ending up exactly where, when and with whom I am meant to be.
Reframing the inner thoughts and beliefs creates an energetic shift and the outer experience becomes a match to that vibration.
If what we are experiencing doesn’t feel good it is a signal to take a brave, compassionate look within.
Doing the inner exploration of my thoughts, beliefs and how I was creating my world wasn’t always easy. Along the way I had help making these changes. I created practices to remind me the truth of who I am and how to always come back to self love.
If you are inspired to add radical self love as a part of your practice, begin by exploring your beliefs, asking yourself honest questions, place attention on what you say about yourself, notice the things you are focusing your energy toward, and look at the visions you are playing over and over in your mind.
The most important relationship you have is the one with yourself.
All change happens within and then manifest in your experience. Nurture and make the relationship with you a priority and witness the world reflect back to you. You are so worth your own time and attention!
Kelly Ann Matuskiewicz is an Intuitive Guide and Energy Alchemist. She teaches that through the inner exploration of the mind and understanding one’s energy you have great influence to positively create a life you love. Kelly Ann’s gift is the precise sense to identify the root of your limiting beliefs and those things holding you back from your greatest potential. She sees your words and energy like one might experience a movie. From there she guides you to rewriting your script to align with your hearts desires. Would you like a guide to help you make this part of your practice and change your relationship? Grab a mini e-course: A guide to radical self love. http://kellyanncory.com/