children Tag

Are You Using Santa to Manipulate Your Kids?

Christmas is an exciting time of year for kids …but can be an overwhelming one for adults if you allow yourself to get hooked into the stress.  As the excitement increases for the kids, and the stress increases in direct proportion for the adults, I have seen and heard parents using the icons of the season (ie. Santa, Elf on the Shelf) in order to get their children to “behave.” It seems the perfect opportunity to step out of the role of being the “bad guy” ourselves, and putting the emphasis and blame somewhere else.  It takes the heat off of us for a change!!! You’ll hear statements such as: You better behave or you’ll be on the naughty list. You better listen cause Santa is watching. You’re going to get a lump of coal in your stocking if you keep that up. I’m gonna get Santa on the phone if you don’t clean your room. ….or some other more creative renditions. Though it may be a very effective method at the time, the hard truth is ….it’s...

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The Challenge of Highly Sensitive Children

With Christmas fast approaching, the excitement and intensity of the season increases….which means that if you are a parent of a Highly Sensitive Child, you may see the excitement and intensity of your child also increase. With that can come some challenges, and it can be a test of your patience. The following blog gives you a glimpse into the life of a sensitive child…mine! And boy oh boy, it can be a roller coaster…not only for them, but for you as well. I get it. You ARE NOT alone. I invite you into my life and my learning...

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Our Kids Caught Us Having Sex…Nope, not kidding.

Those who know me well, know I’m certainly no prude when it comes to talking sex. So I thought it’s only fitting that I generously and openly share with you too! We’re all adults here. …And there really is a point to me sharing this personal information. I’m not trying to simply make you uncomfortable for the fun of it…although I do kinda find that fun. So, yep, as the title indicates, our kids did truly catch my husband and I having sex. I didn’t use that title to be catchy…it’s a fact. Here’s how it unfolded… Without getting into the nitty gritty details (feel free to use your imagination), my husband and I thought it would be a good idea to try to fit in a rendezvous (that makes it sound classier than it was) just before the kids went to bed. …which meant the kids weren’t in bed yet. First mistake. My daughter had been feeling a little under the weather that day; however I assumed it had passed. Second mistake. Before you...

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Are You Using Shame as a Form of Discipline?

We are here for connection.  And we especially want to feel connected with our children.  We are happiest when we feel connected – to our spouse, to our children, to our friends, and to our Source (whatever you choose to call it…God, Universe, Higher Self).   So why is there so much disconnection?  Why are we hearing about more family members who no longer communicate, friends that have parted ways, struggles with our children….?   After listening to Dr. Brene Brown on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday, I received a big ah-ha on this topic.   One of the factors is shame…and I think it’s a big one.   Shame is used to verbally stop unwanted and undesirable behaviour.  Shame is often used as a form of discipline.  Of course, we don’t always see that this is the case.  It’s become so common that we are unaware of the impact it has on our children…and our connection with them.   As quoted from Dr. Brene Brown – “Shame unravels our connection.”   Shaming makes the child feel: Wrong for...

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Expectations Affect Our Children By…

As parents we’ve often been told that it’s important to set certain expectations for our children or risk having them be failures in life. …Okay, so the messages aren’t quite that bold, BUT the underlying message does hit on a nerve that creates the fear of failing our children.   With that fear fully engaged, we often buy into the old paradigms of what society, parents, media, and peers say we “should” be expecting of our children. They should: Behave a certain way so they are well liked Start activities early so they don’t fall behind Always play with (or hang out…for the older kids!) other kids so they don’t feel left out Say yes to all invitations so they don’t miss out on opportunities Keep their opposing thoughts to themselves in case they are judged Buy brand name clothes or the latest technology to fit in with their peers   Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t do any of these things, and shouldn’t have any level of expectation.  Of course not!  What I’m saying is we...

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