fear Tag

Day 15 No Striving Challenge – 2nd By-Product of Over-Achieving

The 2nd by-product of Over-Achieving is MICRO-MANAGING & MULTI-TASKING YOUR LIFE.   Instead of life being something to enjoy, it becomes something to manage. And in order to manage it, multi-tasking becomes inevitable. Our life becomes one big to-do list…and this keeps us very busy!   I’m sure that it is not big news to you to hear that we live in a hyper-paced society. Just listening to conversations, and looking around at people scurrying from one activity or errand to the next is proof enough that this is true. After being asked “How are you?” a common response is “Busy.”   When we’re busy, we’re given the false premise that we are actually achieving something.   What are you afraid will happen if you make the choice to slow down? Are you afraid… you will lose how others view you?…and you like the recognition. your kids will be deprived or held back in some way? you won’t feel important? that things would fall apart if you didn’t do them? you would be missing out on something? you would be judged? you would have to face...

Read More

Day 6 No Striving Challenge – 4 Common Behaviors of Striving

In our quest for proving our value and worthiness we often get caught in one, if not all, of the common behaviors of striving. These behaviors are established with the underlying desire to get our emotional needs met, because at some level we feel a void.   But what these behaviors really accomplish is keeping us trapped in striving for something that is outside of ourselves.   4 Common Behaviors of Striving: Perfectionism People Pleasing Over-Analyzing Over-Achieving   Over time, more and more aspects of these behaviors dropped away for me. Sometimes, however, I met the releasing of them with a lot of resistance….and that was my indicator that it definitely was time to let them go.   When resistance kicks in, that is a really good sign that you are ready to let go of the behaviors that haven’t been serving you. Be warned - as what you no longer need rises to the surface, your ego mind gets louder!   Soul Team Chat What in your life feels like it is no longer serving you? Are you getting mind chatter around...

Read More

Day 4 No Striving Challenge – What keeps us Striving?

What has been keeping us in Striving Mode?   …FEAR   In present day our fears don’t have the devastating consequences that our ancestors had to endure, but like it or not, we have been shaped by the centuries of scarcity, trauma, suffering, and danger. Our DNA embodies the survival instinct of our past generations – fight, flee, deny & control.   What we are striving and struggling to survive now doesn’t result in famine and death, however our bodies still naturally go into the fight or flight response whenever it feels a threat to its survival. The difference now is that it’s no longer a threat to our lives, but it’s a threat to the survival of our ego mind.   “What worked to cope with fear in earlier, lower frequency times now limits our potential.” ~Penney Pierce   Thankfully, we don’t have to remain victim to this way of being. Fear doesn’t need to be our driving force that keeps us striving to satisfy our ego minds.   Awareness plays a big part in...

Read More

Are You Using Santa to Manipulate Your Kids?

Christmas is an exciting time of year for kids …but can be an overwhelming one for adults if you allow yourself to get hooked into the stress.  As the excitement increases for the kids, and the stress increases in direct proportion for the adults, I have seen and heard parents using the icons of the season (ie. Santa, Elf on the Shelf) in order to get their children to “behave.” It seems the perfect opportunity to step out of the role of being the “bad guy” ourselves, and putting the emphasis and blame somewhere else.  It takes the heat off of us for a change!!! You’ll hear statements such as: You better behave or you’ll be on the naughty list. You better listen cause Santa is watching. You’re going to get a lump of coal in your stocking if you keep that up. I’m gonna get Santa on the phone if you don’t clean your room. ….or some other more creative renditions. Though it may be a very effective method at the time, the hard truth is ….it’s...

Read More

Expectations Affect Our Children By…

As parents we’ve often been told that it’s important to set certain expectations for our children or risk having them be failures in life. …Okay, so the messages aren’t quite that bold, BUT the underlying message does hit on a nerve that creates the fear of failing our children.   With that fear fully engaged, we often buy into the old paradigms of what society, parents, media, and peers say we “should” be expecting of our children. They should: Behave a certain way so they are well liked Start activities early so they don’t fall behind Always play with (or hang out…for the older kids!) other kids so they don’t feel left out Say yes to all invitations so they don’t miss out on opportunities Keep their opposing thoughts to themselves in case they are judged Buy brand name clothes or the latest technology to fit in with their peers   Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t do any of these things, and shouldn’t have any level of expectation.  Of course not!  What I’m saying is we...

Read More