guilt Tag

Day 14 No Striving Challenge – 1st By-Product of Over-Achieving

The 1st by-product of Over-Achieving is WILLPOWER BURNOUT.   We’ve been taught that we need willpower to get the things we desire, whether that be to lose weight, make a certain amount of money, be successful in business, be a better parent, etc.   Not only is the idea about willpower a mistaken belief, but it’s a belief that takes a hit on us in more than one way: First, we exert willpower, thus forcing and pushing against the flow, in order to get where we want to be going. THEN, if we don’t get where we’re going fast enough, we beat ourselves up for not having “enough willpower” …and guilt ensues.   Here’s the thing, all willpower does is lead to burn out. Sure, maybe not right away. You’ll see some results….but there’s only so long you can sustain willpower. No need to feel guilt about it. We just aren’t designed to exert willpower to make things happen. The very premise of it goes against the natural flow of...

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Day 11 No Striving Challenge – 1st By-Product of Over-Analyzing

The 1st by-product of being an Over-Analyzer is JUDGEMENT – of ourselves, and of others.   1. Judging Ourselves – Because over-analyzing often brings with it the doubts and questioning of our choices and decisions, we end up judging and being very hard on ourselves when we feel we didn’t make the “right” choice. This keeps us striving to be better and do better next time.   2. Judging Others – By over-analyzing and over-thinking others words, actions and choices we can come to believe we understand their motivations and assume we know what’s “best” for them. We can judge their choices, and therefore try to control, guilt, and manipulate them into seeing things the “right” way…which of course is our way.   Soul Team Chat  Where and how are you judging yourself? Where and how are you judging others?  ...

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Day 5 No Striving Challenge – The Part Worth & Value Play

Our ego mind can exert a lot of control over us, because it convinces us that we have to prove our value and worthiness. This need to prove our value and worthiness keeps us in a state of striving to do just that.   Some of the ways that our ego mind is appeased come in the following forms of striving…   Parenting - Using your children to reflect your worth & value Encouraging your kids to aim for the honor roll Urging your kids to work hard to be on a certain team Training your kids to behave a certain way   Career - Using your career as a position of status to show your worth & value Trying to make more money Trying to climb the ladder to higher position, power & prestige   Body - Using the state of your body as an image of worth & value Trying to lose/gain weight Hoping to avoid illness   Relationships - Using your relationship status to prove your worth & value Trying to find the right one & fall in love Worried what others are thinking and saying   Homes - Using your home as a...

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Are You Using Santa to Manipulate Your Kids?

Christmas is an exciting time of year for kids …but can be an overwhelming one for adults if you allow yourself to get hooked into the stress.  As the excitement increases for the kids, and the stress increases in direct proportion for the adults, I have seen and heard parents using the icons of the season (ie. Santa, Elf on the Shelf) in order to get their children to “behave.” It seems the perfect opportunity to step out of the role of being the “bad guy” ourselves, and putting the emphasis and blame somewhere else.  It takes the heat off of us for a change!!! You’ll hear statements such as: You better behave or you’ll be on the naughty list. You better listen cause Santa is watching. You’re going to get a lump of coal in your stocking if you keep that up. I’m gonna get Santa on the phone if you don’t clean your room. ….or some other more creative renditions. Though it may be a very effective method at the time, the hard truth is ….it’s...

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Tea Time with Trish: Let’s Talk About the Word Busy

Because I work with women and moms, many of whom live busy lives, I hear the word “busy” used a lot.  However, what I’m starting to see is that that word is bringing with it an attachment to guilt.  Yep, just on more thing to feel guilty about!  So, I wanted to use this blog as a way to dispel some of the guilt that we as mothers continue to put on ourselves.   As mothers, I believe it is important to become self-aware – aware of who we are, and how we spend our time.  With this increased awareness comes the knowing of what our priorities truly are, and we of course then try to manage our time based on these priorities. The one down side of awareness (really, I think all awareness is an upside if you choose to see it that way) is that the things that aren’t working become glaringly obvious. And if you are the type of person who tends to be hard...

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