parents Tag

Are You Using Santa to Manipulate Your Kids?

Christmas is an exciting time of year for kids …but can be an overwhelming one for adults if you allow yourself to get hooked into the stress.  As the excitement increases for the kids, and the stress increases in direct proportion for the adults, I have seen and heard parents using the icons of the season (ie. Santa, Elf on the Shelf) in order to get their children to “behave.” It seems the perfect opportunity to step out of the role of being the “bad guy” ourselves, and putting the emphasis and blame somewhere else.  It takes the heat off of us for a change!!! You’ll hear statements such as: You better behave or you’ll be on the naughty list. You better listen cause Santa is watching. You’re going to get a lump of coal in your stocking if you keep that up. I’m gonna get Santa on the phone if you don’t clean your room. ….or some other more creative renditions. Though it may be a very effective method at the time, the hard truth is ….it’s...

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Our Kids Caught Us Having Sex…Nope, not kidding.

Those who know me well, know I’m certainly no prude when it comes to talking sex. So I thought it’s only fitting that I generously and openly share with you too! We’re all adults here. …And there really is a point to me sharing this personal information. I’m not trying to simply make you uncomfortable for the fun of it…although I do kinda find that fun. So, yep, as the title indicates, our kids did truly catch my husband and I having sex. I didn’t use that title to be catchy…it’s a fact. Here’s how it unfolded… Without getting into the nitty gritty details (feel free to use your imagination), my husband and I thought it would be a good idea to try to fit in a rendezvous (that makes it sound classier than it was) just before the kids went to bed. …which meant the kids weren’t in bed yet. First mistake. My daughter had been feeling a little under the weather that day; however I assumed it had passed. Second mistake. Before you...

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Tea Time with Trish: It’s What I Wanted, But….

One of the main things I want in life is for my children to grow into and retain their sense of self.  It’s what I’m very aware of in how I handle situations with my children, and it allows me to adjust my reactions when needed.   Soooo, when my husband and I started seeing our son really coming out of his shell we were thrilled….and oddly enough just a little apprehensive!   I want my children to be able to speak their mind, and voice their opinions…of course, in a respectful manner.  I want them to have a sense of humour, and not take life so seriously.  I don’t want them to feel they have to go down the beaten path, or jump on the band wagon of the latest fads.  I want them to be authentic and unique.   So when my son, who is 9, began to display his “uniqueness, ” my husband and I couldn’t help but laugh.  But ironically at the same time, we also voiced concerns...

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Tea Time with Trish: Where’s the Parenting Manuel?

As we all know having kids doesn’t come with a manual on how to raise them.  But wouldn’t that be nice?!   If you have read any of my work, you already know I’m a huge advocate on allowing our children to be raised holding on to who they are.  One of the things I want my children to know is that mistakes aren’t failures.  They are simply a moment to learn, therefore there is no need to be hard on themselves when things don’t quite go their way.   So with that in mind, my daughter came home from school one day saying they had an assignment they were doing at school, and she made a mistake.  She went on to say that she knew it was okay, because everyone makes mistakes.  My initial reaction was that I was glad she felt this way, since in the past she could easily get frustrated with school work at times.   I went on to ask her if she went back to correct it once she...

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Tea Time with Trish: Going Against Our Nature

My kids had a day off from school, and we went for a drive that spontaneously landed us in Bragg Creek…about a 40 minute drive (well, the way we went anyway).  The beauty of taking drives is that it provides a space for solitude and time with your thoughts…if you allow it.   As we quietly drove (admittedly the drive home wasn’t as quiet!), each of us in our own world, my son suddenly said, “Mom, isn’t it funny how as kids we aren’t shy, but as we get older we are more shy?”   I thought this was very interesting coming from a nine year old, so I asked both my kids why they thought that was.   My daughter, who is seven, said, “It’s probably because when we’re little we don’t know better, but as we get older we learn to know better.”   Hmmm?  I believe the opposite is true.   As the conversation continued with my kids, it became obvious that when my son used the word shy,...

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