Tea Time with Trish: Where’s the Parenting Manuel?
As we all know having kids doesn’t come with a manual on how to raise them. But wouldn’t that be nice?!
If you have read any of my work, you already know I’m a huge advocate on allowing our children to be raised holding on to who they are. One of the things I want my children to know is that mistakes aren’t failures. They are simply a moment to learn, therefore there is no need to be hard on themselves when things don’t quite go their way.
So with that in mind, my daughter came home from school one day saying they had an assignment they were doing at school, and she made a mistake. She went on to say that she knew it was okay, because everyone makes mistakes. My initial reaction was that I was glad she felt this way, since in the past she could easily get frustrated with school work at times.
I went on to ask her if she went back to correct it once she knew it was incorrect. She said no, and repeated how everyone makes mistakes so it was okay.
My next question was, “Was it possible to go back to correct it?” She replied, “Yes.”
Hmmm? Interesting. She knew she made a mistake, and she also knew she could go back to correct it…but she didn’t!
Had I forgotten to add the part to our talks that states my belief that mistakes are okay, BUT if we make ones that can be corrected or rectified that it is part of living as the best version of ourselves to go back to right a wrong? Had I neglected to convey the importance of correcting any wrongs if we have the capabilities to?…and I’m not just referring to school work here. I’m also looking at how it all applies to the big picture as well.
So, it hit me that in my quest to teach her not to be hard on herself, I may have neglected the bigger picture. Even though mistakes are okay, and can be used to learn and grow, that’s not to say they are to be left as mistakes and not take action to clean them up if possible.
My two-cents? Being a parent is an evolving process, and we many not always do it perfectly. BUT fret not. If you are a living example of what to live up to they’ll do just fine, since they learn more from your actions than from your words. And the opportunity to pass on your wisdom will always arise when the timing is right for that lesson….as it did in the case.
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Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the Moms Who Want More Program. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills and experience as a mother, teacher, & Clinical Hypnotherapist to mentor moms who want more out of their lives – mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. She teaches moms how to slow down, peel away the layers to find their true selves, and to listen to their intuitive sense so that they can create a sense of fulfillment, meaning, and happiness in their lives.