Trisha’s Two-Cent Tuesday: Do You Allow Your Children Their Own Voice?
The other week, I had a friend come over, and she had asked my son, Jaden, if it was okay if she could give him a hug. Jaden was hesitant, and I could see that we was struggling between doing what he wanted (which was not to hug her), and having to risk saying no and possibly offending her.
Myself, as well as my friend, encouraged him to answer truthfully according to what he wanted and how he felt. He said no.
We both respected his decision, and in fact, I was quite proud of him for speaking up for what he knew was true for himself, and honouring his own feelings.
My Two-Cents? So many times, we as parents, encourage our kids to go against their better judgement and their own emotions. And the reason we do this is because of our own need to please.
If we allow our children the space to make their own decisions in those moments, we are helping them to keep their intuitive sense and hold on to being able to distinguish their own feelings and act accordingly.
This teaches them to make choices for themselves based on what feels right and best for them.
If we don’t allow this, this is when they run into confusion, frustration, and even problems down the road. In not having been given the freedom to honour their feelings, that intuitive sense gets shut down.
This is where the people-pleasing syndrome originates. They then begin to make choices based on what they think others what of them versus what they truly want. If their own emotional guidance system has been over-ridden too many times, they no longer know how to make decisions based on what feels right for them.
It is up to us as parents to allow them to be able to have their own voice.
Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the Moms Who Want More Program. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills and experience as a mother, teacher, & Clinical Hypnotherapist to mentor moms who want more out of their lives – mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.