Trisha’s Two-Cent Tuesday: Do you feel guilty about the time you spend with your children?
In talking with moms, whether they be stay-at-home moms, working moms, corporate moms, or entrepreneurial moms there is a running theme around the guilt of the amount of quality time spent with their children.
With stay-at-home moms there is the guilt of being home, so feeling that their time should be spent either doing something with the kids or doing something for the kids. With working moms there is the guilt of being away and handing over care of their children to someone else.
Regardless of what category of mom you fall into, the common theme is guilt around not enough quality time with your children.
My two-cents? First and foremost, I don’t believe one way of parenting is the “right” way. Whether you are staying at home or working, it doesn’t matter. You need to do what you feel called to do, not what others may say is the best way to raise your children.
And a quick side note – if someone does try to make a strong statement for why their way is the best way, it’s usually because they are so scared their way isn’t the best way that they have to defend it with all their might! Food for thought!
So, I want to give you my belief around creating a healthy environment for our children. If you are a stay-at-home mom it doesn’t mean spending every second with them or planning events to keep them occupied; if you are a working mom it doesn’t mean having to make up for the time you aren’t there.
We’ve probably all heard before that it’s the quality of time we spend, not the quantity of time we spend. And this is true, however I want to take it one step further. I believe our roles as parents is to create the space for our children which allows them to always feel safe & secure, knowing that they can come to you at any time with anything they need.
It does not mean we have to hover over them, and carefully account for all their time. What it does mean is knowing we are their guides, not their mangers, and it is our job to create an open and safe place for them to experiment and test the boundaries of who they are always knowing that you are there for them with unconditional openness. Spending every available minute with them does not create this space.
How do you do this? Allowing them their own voice, their own minds, their own imagination; their own creativity…by giving them the space they need to grow, while spending quality time (not necessarily quantity time) with them in which you can start discussions, and give them boundaries. AND equally as important is allowing them to see you grow and nurture yourself!
For more information visit – http://www.AbsoluteAwareness.ca
Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the Moms Who Want More Program. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills and experience as a mother, teacher, & Clinical Hypnotherapist to mentor moms who want more out of their lives – mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.