Trisha’s Two-Cent Tuesdays: What Message Are We Sending Our Children?
How many times have you caught yourself saying to your children, “Jane is joining dance, why don’t you?” or “Look at Johnny, he’s sitting so well, ” or “See how Sarah is doing that on her own”? BUT in the next breath we ask the old cliché, “If Tommy jumped off a bridge, would you?”
First we tell them to follow, and next we are telling them not to. Huh?!
We are sending our children mixed messages. And the bottom-line is all these messages are geared to getting our kids to do what we think is “right”; what we view as socially acceptable.
My two-cents? These mixed messages are very confusing to kids who are born intuitively tapped into what is best for them. As we continually point out what this kid is doing, how that kid is behaving, the way the other kid is acting…our own children begin to question their own instincts. Over time they will lose touch with their own innate feelings and emotions, and start to base their choices on what is deemed as the “right” way…not necessarily their way. Because of this we are diminishing the creative capabilities and uniqueness of our children.
Speaking for myself, and knowing my parents did the best that they knew how with the best of intentions, my entire journey into the work I do now is based on the fact that I had to re-learn, re-define, and re-find the unique sides of myself; to re-discover the creativity I had buried; and to re-connect with my intuitive side that I shut down.
Even though I am extremely thankful for all of this, because it brought me to where I am now, there is no question that it is not necessary for our children to have to re-discover themselves IF we allow them to be themselves from the beginning.
Many of you have gone through similar upbringings as me, and therefore may be in a re-discovery phase of your own. Fact is, we do need to find ourselves (cliché, but true), so that we can do better for ourselves, but also for our kids, and stop sending the mixed messages.
Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the Moms Who Want More Program. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills and experience as a mother, teacher, & Clinical Hypnotherapist to mentor moms who want more out of their lives – mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.