Why Do We Fight To Be Right?
I used to be a “fence sitter.” I really didn’t have a strong opinion about anything. Certainly part of it was because I am pretty easy-going, BUT a larger portion of that was because I didn’t have the confidence to stand firm in my own beliefs.
I really hadn’t formed any of my own beliefs. I grew up believing what I was told by my parents, teachers, peers, society…I hadn’t yet developed my muscle in establishing my own set of beliefs that worked for me.
So, when one of those programmed beliefs were challenged, I felt I needed to fiercely defend it. They weren’t ever beliefs that I chose for myself, so why was I so eager to fight to be right? Because my belief system was being challenged. And whether consciously or not (okay…not) that was very unsettling.
I was being forced to possibly look at things another way, and I was so unaccustomed to doing that that it threw me off balance. It rattled my “safe” little world. So rather than having to go through the “trauma” of realizing there may be another way, it was “easier” to defend what is.
Eventually, as I began to own who I really was and began to soften to the idea that there may be another way, I also began to form my own beliefs based on what truly works for me. When this happened, the need to be right fell away. I no longer needed to be right, because I simply knew it was right for me. It didn’t matter if it was right for anyone else.
As my confidence grew, I didn’t fear being wrong. I didn’t fear it, because I realized there was no such thing as “wrong, ” but only what works for each individual. Now that’s not to say that I don’t get passionate about what I believe and want to share it, BUT the difference is I don’t have a need for them to agree with me anymore.
So, that begs the question, would you rather be right or happy?!
Trisha Savoia is founder/owner of Absolute Awareness, and creator of the The Integrity Code, and The Soulful Parent Programs. Through her programs, writing, and speaking she uses her skills, experience, and intuition as a mother, teacher, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur to help guide moms to recover their true selves and their intuition, while at the same time learn how to parent so their children can do the same.